sitting with feelings (two)

I like this diagram. It's an interesting way to explain feelings. I like how it shows that feelings can progress along a spectrum.

Anyway, I've been thinking about the idea of sitting with feelings, and when it's good as opposed to when it's not.

For example, right now, I'm pretty stressed and upset about friend in the hospital and my family situation. So sitting with my feelings in this case means allowing myself to feel stressed and upset and angry and envious and worried and nervous and relieved and happy and concerned and a myriad of other things. You'll notice however, that most of those feelings are bad feelings.

So I sit with the bad feelings, and I feel pretty bad. So the question then becomes, when is it too much? When do I have to choose to move on from the bad feelings and concentrate on some good feelings? When do I say "enough, I'm going to think positive thoughts now"? It's an interesting concept. On one hand, we don't want to ignore any of our feelings, and on the other hand, we want to make sure that we don't spend all our time dwelling on the negative.

Take for example a client in detox. The client may be going on and on about how they ruined their life. I actually believe it's important for them to sit with these feelings, acknowledge them, and take responsibility for their past actions. Because, many clients will actually be sitting there talking about how someone else ruined their life. But, I think there is also a time when they need to move on from those feelings or the will never get anywhere. They need to stop, and say, I've come this far, there is hope.

So what's the balance. I suppose, that it's different for each person. Each and everyone of us needs to find a balance of sitting with and acknowledging feelings and moving forward towards a more positive state of mind. And so that, is what I'm going to do today. I've sat with these bad feelings, I've acknowledged them, and I'm going to move on. Not move on from the situations, but I just need to acknowledge that there is hope, and that not all feelings need to be negative. So we'll see... it's much easier said then done!