Social Worker...

Here we have a picture of me giving Oliver Lockhart a bath. He looks sort of like I've been feeling.

I finally feel like a social worker, for all the wrong reasons. I feel like a social worker because my case load suddenly doubled because the other counsellor is leaving. I feel like a social worker because our 8 person team only has 6 people, one of whom just got fired. I feel like a social worker because I have tension in my back. I feel like a social worker because I sometimes take at least a full day to respond to my clients phone calls, and I'm often a day behind on my documentation.

Fortuntately, the good stuff keeps me going.

I feel like a social worker because I can see that there are clients whose lives I am making a difference in. I feel like a social worker because people respect my opinion, even though I rarely give it. I feel like a social worker because I can write letters of support for people to other professionals and believe that they'll mean something. I feel like a social worker because I finally have work to do all day instead of reading "Stuff Christians Like" all morning. I feel like a social worker because I'm finally starting to understand the ins and outs of the multiple systems that make up "the system" even though I thought I knew them before. I feel like a social worker because I KNOW that I'll never learn it all.

Tomorrow I'm headed to a workshop for the morning, then a goodbye lunch for the other counsellor, and then we'll see. I have a counselling session booked and I have to fix a letter I'm writing for my supervisor/team.

My spiritual director taught me a very neat prayer that dates back over 1000 years. It is a simple reflection on that which you are most grateful for and that which you are least grateful for. Today it is as follows:

I am most grateful for an evening spent with the cats, tea and a mystery novel (as well as a couple episodes of The Simpsons). I am least grateful for the stress at work which causes me tension and for the stomach ache I've had on and off today.

dreamer finds a boy (oh wait, I'm supposed to call him a "man")

You may have been wondering what happeneded to the dreamer over the past couple weeks.  Where have her deeply insightful and thought provoking posts gone?  Well, there is a simple answer, as happens to many of us, the dreamer has found herself a boyfriend who from now on will be referred to simply at "the intrepid one".  He got that name when we were 13 and it's stuck.  So yes, instead of lying on my couch blogging, I've actually been getting out of my house and seeing movies, and eating ice cream.  Although yesterday, we sat on the couch together and watched 8 or so episodes of Friends.  

Things seem to be going well these days.  I have yet another set of antibiotics for the never ending sinus infectiong, but I'm trying to be really diligant about taking care of myself so that maybe this time it'll finally go away!  

Work is going well.  My case load still really isn't picking up that much, but it's summer, and apparently that's what happens.  I've been doing quite a few intake interviews though, which is nice, I LOVE learning people's stories.  

Church is good as well.  And I'm seeing my spiritual director again on Tuesday.  

Sophie Cat is doing well.  She really seems to like the intrepid one, which is good, because it's vital that the two of them get along.  Yesterday she kept a very close eye on him...it was kind of creepy actually.  I think she senses something is up because she doesn't stare at bestest buds boyfriend the same way.  Currently she's sticking her paw in her water dish and licking the water off her paw... she doesn't like to drink the normal way.  

So hopefully more social work posts shall follow soon.  I'm off to get my morning coffee before I go into major caffienne withdrawl.  

Spiritual Direction

So this evening, I went for my first session of spiritual direction.  Or maybe that's too clinical.  Perhaps I'll say, this evening I met with a spiritual director for the first time.  It's something a mentor of mine suggested to me when I was so depressed a couple months ago, and that I took some time to read about, think about, talk about, and pray about.  Eventually, I decided to go for it.  I really do want to feel connected with God and to nurture the spirtual side of myself.  

Basically, Spiritual Direction, or at least the kind I'm participating in, is a conversation between two people where the focus is God.  It's comparable to a counseling relationship, but it's far less clinical.  Further, counseling most often has specific goals and such.  Spiritual direction is all about the journey.  If the goal is to feel closer to God, you don't have to know what that will look like, or how you'll know when you're there.  Spiritual direction can go on for years and years.  The director listens, there is prayer, and perhaps you focus on a certain spiritual discipline together.  The two listen for the Holy Spirit and focus on what God is doing in the directee's life.  Often it invovles talking about daily life and recoginzing where God is, being more attunded to the working of the Holy in the ordinary.  

Tonight's meeting was a good experience for me.  I feel comfortable with the woman I found, and comfortable with her background.  She also felt comfortable working with me, and thinks that I'm in a very good place in my life for this journey together to begin.  

So we'll see where things go.  Generally you meet with a spiritual director about once a month or once every 6-8 weeks, however for the first couple months we'll be meeting every two weeks as we get to know each other and I get to be comfortable in her presence.  Spirituality has been a part of my life for a long time, but is something I often don't articulate very well.  Hopefully, I'll be able to articulate some of it here as well as other places.