I lol'd...documentation bloopers

So I have no idea if any of these are real are not, but I saw these posted on a social work community website and laughed my head off.  And since I'm sure we could all use a laugh...

Documentation Bloopers:

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

The client was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

The client is a well-developed male lying on the sofa with his family in no distress.

Because she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you'd like to work her up.

Discharge status: alive, but without permission.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

She is numb from her toes down.

The client had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1999, when she got a divorce.

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

The client has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1998.

Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male.

Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.

 

the end of it all

I didn't post about looking/applying for a new job because I didn't want to have to write about failure.  I just find it easier not to tell people about my job prospects so I don't have to answer awkward questions later.  Of couse, these means I surprised a lot of people with my new job including you, my loyal readers... and my boss.  

I have to say, telling my boss I was going to use him as a reference wasn't exactly easy.  Especially when he wanted to know why I was leaving.  Of course, I could have declined to coment, but that just isn't my style.  So I told him... "I'm sick of being being bullied and I'm sick of locking people up".  He definitely latched onto the bullying thing.  He wanted to know why I hadn't come and talked to him further about the enforcer.  Why hadn't I said anything.  Why hadn't I just asked to change shifts etc...  My reasons, were kind of lame, and it got me thinking...and over thinking (of course). 

The truth is, in some ways, I am running away.  I'm running away from the enforcer instead of dealing with him like an adult.  It just seems so much easier.  Of course part of me believes nothing can change anyway, which is definitely part of it.  But, in so many other ways, I'm just moving on the way I always intended to.  I have ALWAYS been up front with my boss that I only intended to stay at the shelter for a year.  And while I'm a month short of a year, it just seemed like the right time, for a lot of reasons.  I got turned down, again, for a case management position at the shelter, and after that I just kind of felt like I was going nowhere there, that to stay and earn the seniority to move up to that position would just take me far too long, and after that, there was nothing.  

So what is my new job?  My title, is "Mental Health Counselor", but to tell you the truth, I'm not 100% positive exactly what I'll be doing.  I have a general idea though. Bascially, it's a work placement team for people entering/re-entering the workforce with mental illness.  People have to be somewhat stable to enter, so it's not people in the midst of horrible psychosis or anything.  So probably the most stable people I've ever worked with...  I get to be part of a multi-disiplinary team (yaaaaay) and so there are other people who concentrate more on the actual finding of employment and resumes and stuff (which is good, cause I know nothing about that).  It's a small caseload, which is good, and we spend a lot of time with each individual person.  AND I'll be working with SOCIAL WORKERS!!!  Including 2 people I went to school with, who I actually liked, but don't have any weird personal history with (although, I was a bit of a loud know it all in school, so who knows...)

I'm going for lunch with the team on April 1st, but I don't start my job till the 6th.  I like the place already.  The team leader was totally awesome about wanting to give me time to switch my body from working nights to working days and actually suggested a later starting date then I did.  I'll probably pick up a couple shifts at the shelter just so I can have SOME income during that time, but I wont' do any nights.  It'll actually help me get my schedule in order if I have to be up for something.  

In anycase, I'm excited.  I have a punch of other things to write about too (I've been making a list, lol) so you might actually get daily posts for the next week!  And then, then I'll have a whole new job to write about, new thoughts, new impressions, new staff, new clients, new everything!  To say the least, I'm excited!  

happy happy happy happy

Still Dreaming

123 Anywhere Lane

Cold Weather, CAN

A1A 1A1

 

Boss

The Homeless Shelter

321 Nowhere Grove

Cold Weather, CAN

B2B 2B2

 

Dear Boss,

 

Please accept this letter as my official communication regarding the termination of my full time employment at the homeless shelter.  As you are aware I have been offered a position as a Mental Health Counselor with the Somewhere Else Work Placement Team; I have accepted that position.  In anticipation of the beginning of that position, I would appreciate if my full time hours could be ended at the conclusion of this schedule. 

 

This letter is also a declaration of my intention to stay employed by the Homeless Shelter as a casual crisis worker.  I value the experiences I have gained and the relationships I have built with the clients here and look forward to continuing at the organization.  I will provide a calendar of my availability as required. 

 

Sincerely,

 

Still Dreaming BSW/RSW

two awesome quotes

These quotes are great. I love my clients.

1. A client and I are talking about how much I love to talk. Even though I try and keep my mouth shut around work, and give other people, aka my clients, the chance to talk, I guess I still come across as me. So my client says:

"your mouth is like 7/11, it's open 24 hours a day"

2. I complimented a client this morning on how nice and clean he looked. I knew he'd had (aka been forced to have) a shower yesterday and wanted to use some positive reinforcement. In the background another client says totally seriously.

"you don't have to look good to shower"

busy

I haven't disappeared. I've been busy though. I have much to say, and in fact, I have some awesome news. Had a great girls day too. However, after midnight lightsaber battles, whiny detox clients and piloting a canoe down the river, I'm going to bed!

Day Off

Here you have one very happy social worker. Why is this social worker so happy you ask? The answer, "it's her day off". Technically speaking, yesterday was my day off to, but I tend to spend the entire first day sleeping, and the second day enjoying my rested state.

Yesterday I slept, went out for breakfast with best friend, slept, went for a meeting with pastor, slept, went out for gelati with the intrepid one, and then slept then a talk with bestest bud before I passed out for the night. All in all, a good day though! I haven't been sleeping well lately, up every hour, so I took one of my lovely yet despised doctor prescribed sleeping pills, which is supposed to help me stay asleep once I fall asleep. It worked. I had a glorious 15 hours of sleep (although I did wake up a few times during the later half of that), and now feel rested and human again (it would take me at least an entire blog entry to process how I feel about those pills).

Today, I woke up to discover my shower wasn't working properly. There didn't seem to be any hot water no matter how hard I tried - living in an apartment that doesn't happen often. So I washed my hair in the sink (which mysteriously had hot water) and went out. Out you say? Out where? I went out for coffee with my old library from when I was a little kid. It was awesome.

I recently ran into her at a suicide intervention course. She's a marriage and family therapist now. She actually went to school with the therapist I saw when doing my social work degree. Anyway, she's awesome. It was really cool to run into her again. I went to story time every single week when I was a preschooler, and lots of them were done by her. I also took swimming lessons with her kids, and did the summer reading program every year (I love books). It was great to catch up with her, but also great to meet a "grownup" who thinks about things so much the way I do. I feel like she understands me, and understands my issues with certain policies and realties. It's great.

Now i'm just having some chill time and then off to a church meeting at which we're planning a community outreach event. I'm planning to ride my bike, even though it's a bit of a ways. Was planning on dinner with bestest bud, but plans changed, and honestly, my stomach is not feeling great from all the weird eating I did while working nights.

happy :)

I had a great day at work last night (or is that a great night at work this morning), I never know. There were some hard parts, and a scary part, but really it was great.

I love working the night shift. The staff on nights are fun to be around, and they get their work done without taking things to over seriously. We laugh and joke and interact as a team - so important, and so different then some of the other shifts. It was also a quiet night for the most part, so we were able to have time to get things done well without feeling rushed.

It was also a good night because I saw a client that I hadn't seen in probably 6 months. She's someone I've known since my first summer job when I was 16. At that time she had custody of her kids, lived with her husband, and while she wasn't doing amazing, she was doing okay. Since then, things have gone down hill. Lost her kids, had her next child apprehended at birth, was using all sorts of drugs, prostituting, keeping odd company who was likely prostituting her, sniffing etc... I'd see her when I was out doing street patrols, or at street ministry, and she just looked like death. She's HIV positive, probably not on meds, not taking care of herself etc...

I really though she was dead. I really did. And then today she randomly walks into the drop in for soup at 7AM...sniff rag in hand, hand infront of nose, but in she walked. And she's ALIVE, and she's looking better then she has in forever. I told her about the street ministry bbq tonight (which reminds me, I have to post about my ethical issues), and I'm hoping she comes so that we'll have the chance to talk. I hope, I hope, I hope.

Van patrol was also good tonight. We didn't have too much people interaction, but we saw a raccoon, I've never seen one before, we watched it for a little bit. I was surprised to see one in city center. I had a really great talk with the other staff I was with, which was really nice. Plus, I decided that since the raccoon was the highlight of the night, I would write it on our trip log. So at 01:48 we had contact with "raccoon" on "a street" and provided the service "observation". Whoever codes that for stats should have a good laugh!

I love going to sleep with a smile on my face!

I <3 HP

My black cloud is still following me around today, but there were some definite breaks for sunshine. Mostly though, I just want to be miserable about not getting that job and curl up and do nothing. So, I will. For a couple days. Then I'm getting over it and moving on. One will come up eventually.

In any case though. I did have a fun story for today.

Everyday after we serve our 1:30 soup we put on a movie. I'm sure we're breaking a million laws by doing this, but it's what we do. I can pretty much guarantee the movie theaters aren't losing revenue by us doing this. We only have a limited number of movies, and it seems that the clients have seen them over and over and over again. Further, most of the movies we have are violent, bloody, gory and loud. This is what people seem to be into, but I can't help wondering if it contributes to some of the violences and loudness inside the drop in.

So, today I brought Harry Potter I and made them watch it. Most people filtered out after soup like always, but this one guy was just enthralled by the movie. It was very cute. He's an older man, not very well spoken, heavy drinker/solvent user, but he has the cutest smile. He grins at me every time he sees me and it makes me grin too. Anyway, I tried to talk to him, but he was busy watching the movie. "Funny movie" he says pointing at the screen. While I've never thought of the movie that way, I'm glad he did. And, it was nice not to be listening to explosions and gunshots while trying to get work done.

Next time I work in the afternoon I'll bringing HPII and so on. After that, I'm thinking RENT. And well, that's basically all the movies I own, so I'll have to hope some other staff will bring in some quieter ones. Or maybe not. Maybe if that's what they like, that's what will watch. I just can't help thinking it's a bad idea to watch so much violence on such a regular basis.

random

It's 2AM and I'm not sleepy, but I couldn't think of anything to blog about. So I google image searched the word "random" and decided I would blog about something on the first page. So here goes.

This is actually a very cute story. Part of doing a detox intake includes searching the client's possessions (and person, if we think it's necessary). This means that I get to put on blue nitrile gloves and dig through client's stuff sort of like I work in airport security! To make it less awkward I try to do it while they are filing out a form or something, so they're not just sitting there staring at me. And I always ask the "is there anything I should know about" question. We don't have a lot of IV drug users, but I really don't want to come across a dirty needle!

In anycase, as I was searching this particular males stuff I came across a stuff animal. He said oh, that's my lucky lion (or something, I can't actually remember what it was). He bought it from a friend in preparation for detox, because the last time he had a successful treatment program and stayed sober for quite a while he had a lucky stuffed animal. Okay, that's kind of cool, whatever. As I keep searching, I pull out a far more raged animal. Turns out, it's the first one. He still has it. It's gone with him through tons of ups and downs, crack binges, oxycontin highs, moving, evictions etc... and it looks like it got the worst of it. But it's still there, and coming with him to detox once again.

I thought it was really cool, that this man could carry those with him. I mean, this is no "wuss". He's tattooed, done his time, and used just about every drug in every kind of way. Sort of makes you realize how we're all the same, and how we all have a human side.