the benifits of boundaries

I recently had a client come into detox who I really liked. I like most of my clients, but this client was different, I could totally have been friends with her if we'd met in a different context. We're close in age, live very near each other, frequent the same places, are in similar income brackets, similar levels of education etc...

It was an interesting experience, because I got to see how beneficial good professional boundaries are. On a slow night in detox I sat down at a table with a few clients making beaded jewelry to try and talk to them in a non threatening context. The others cleared out and the client and I wound up having a really great talk. It started on the outer level and we were probably contributing about equally to the conversation. Suddenly it occurred to me; "shut up, it's about her". Best advice I could give myself. After I started really listening, reflecting, and asking some open ended questions the conversation began to move from the outer level to an inner level and we were able to talk about some deeper stuff. In fact, she came and found me in the office to talk more later, bringing up some other personal stuff. It was a really great reminder of paying attention to context and really listening.

It also made me think about my job. I spend a lot of time doing laundry, cleaning IPDA cells, and driving people around, oh, and I wash I lot of dishes. Further, a lot of my clients are pretty much permanent residents of the shelter and have no current desire to change. I have skills to help people make changes. I took a whole bunch of counseling classes as part of my BSW and while I use my "attending behaviours" all the time, I rarely get to use much theory working in the environment I do (I mean, theory is part of everything, but not). I like what I do. I like that I'm comfortable there. I just know that I could do so much more. Maybe that's a bad way to look at it though. Maybe I just need to figure out a way to use my gifts and skills with this population I so much want to work with. Thoughts for a day when I've had more sleep...