Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Sitting with feelings (part 3)

In addition to having good friends, I also have wise friends who give me things to think about and ponder. And in typical fashion they have done so again. In the post "sitting with your feelings 2" I talked about how long we should sit with "bad" feelings. Herman asked "are they bad feelings or are they just uncomfortable" which of course, led me to thinking...

When do feelings become bad? Do they ever become bad? What then constitutes a bad feeling? A lot of things pop to mind when I ask those questions, for instance I might say that feeling homicidal is always a bad feeling, but I wouldn't label feeling suicidal the same way. I would say that feeling taken advantage of sucks, but I would also say that it can lead to a great deal of learning. I guess I would say that bad feelings feel bad. But, are all things that make us feel bad, bad feelings? I would say no.

I will however stick with my original position and say that there is a time and place to sit with your feelings and a time and place to move on. I think that if I was to have sat with some of the feelings I've had in the past for an unclear amount of time I might never have gotten as far as I have. I think one of the things that enables me to do my job is that fact that I am able to move on from things. But, maybe moving on, is different then not sitting with. So many things to think about!

Further, when is sitting with your feelings the lazy thing to do, the easy way out. When is it easier to hurt, then to challenge those feelings and move on. Isn't it sometimes easier to be a "victim"

Just some thoughts...

1 comment:

Herman said...

Now you've got me thinking. I guess this is the area I struggle with. How do you find that balance. I think sometimes sitting with your feelings *is* the courageous thing to do. But yes, then you have to move on. And sometimes moving on doesn't mean trying to fix the feeling, it means focusing on other parts of your life.

I'm not sure feeling homicidal is necessarily a "bad" feeling. It certainly feels bad, but then if you can process it and deal with the fear or jealousy then it can actually be a useful feeling