I'm full of feelings today. I go back to work in 12 minutes or so, or well, that's when I need to get off the couch and start the car, but I'm just not sure I'm ready. I feel like I could sit here, on this couch, for a few days longer and be quite content. The thing about being full of feelings, is that I'm having a hard time naming them/identifying them. I just feel... heavy.
My therapist used to try and get me to figure out where I was feeling things in my body, we did tons of Internal Family Systems work (IFS) and it was incredibly frustrating to me. I just was NOT that in touch with myself. The rest of IFS was awesome and really changed me, but finding things in my body... well, if I had to find things in my body today, I'd say I felt all this in my head. Maybe it's a sign I'm getting a sinus infection or ear infections, but I don't know. I just know that I feel heavy and my head feels heavy and full.
I kind of feel like this is a time when I should be reaching out to my support systems, but I'm not sure what I would say. There's nothing actually wrong, I just know something's not right. I think part of me is also hoping that once I get back to work and see my clients and catch up on things it will be better as well. Maybe once I have a cup of coffee??
(ps. that's me up there)