thank you

 Thank you guys all for your support.  It really does mean a lot to me.  I think I'm a bit calmed down now, I'm trying to see the big picture, to look at this from the outside instead of from my heart.  Watching Sophie cat drink water with her paw (dip and lick, dip and lick) always brings a smile to my face, as did watching her decide she didn't actually want to eat my strawberries!  

I'm going to get through this.  It's going to be fine.  To give it slightly more context, the accusations against me, basically have to do with words said to clients in a volatile situation and whether they were unprofessional, offensive, inappropriate etc... They have these words tape recorded, or at least some of them.  Management has thus far only heard their side of the story.  I'm not saying a word without my union rep (and to think, I used to be annoyed by the union).  For them to send all accused home from work last night would have been next to impossible.  Half the staff would have been gone and the shelter would have had to close.  I somehow doubt that would have gone over well!  

I keep reminding myself that the absolute worst thing that can happen is that they fire me.  It's okay if they fire me.  I have another job.  I haven't signed my letter of hire yet, but from what I understand from my union rep it would be absolutely not okay for the shelter to say anything to my new job.  I know I didn't do anything nearly unethical enough to lose the R off my RSW.  I need to trust that in myself and stop second guessing myself.  I have already learned from what has happened, and had learned from it before this whole thing surfaced.  Likely, what will happen is that I will get a verbal reprimand and a letter in my file, if I'm found "guilty" of whatever it is I'm accused of, which I'm not sure of.  All I've been told is that I'm "under investigation" and I've been told to "behave professionally".  

I will keep you guys updated.  It'll be interspersed with other posts that I've already got written and set to publish, so if you're wondering how it's bouncing back and forths from stories about death and prositution (thankfully not in the same story) to updates about my investigation, my sanity and my new job, that's why.  

you guys rock.  as do my friends.  I sobbed to bestest bud on the way home from choir (note to self, driving and crying isn't the best idea), and best friend and I have plans to talk.  I even mentioned it to my pastor and well, a lot of my church friends.  I was pretty upset and mad when I got to church (oh how I did not want to be there...it's good for me though, all I would have done at home is cry).  So, somehow or another I'll be okay.  I seem to be falling apart at the seams a bit, but I'll find the right needle and thread so that God and I can begin piecing me back together.