Saturday, March 21, 2009

getting out and doing things...update on my "care plan"

This past two weeks I've been focusing on getting out and doing things.  It's been hard, but worth it.  I've managed to spend time with most of my good friends (although best friend and I have played quite a bit of telephone tag...maybe I'll use my daytime minutes today and give her a call).  I even managed to go out with a brand new friend, something that can be incredibly hard for me.  I'm rather pleased with myself.  

Something which I think has been of incredible value to me is recognizing that even though I'm trying to get out and see people, I can't see everyone, and I can't do something every day.  As I'm sure many of you have figured out, I can be kind of an all or nothing person (interestingly, mostly in my personal life, not in my professional life).  For example, since I haven't been sleeping well, I've been trying not to push myself to do too much on a day I haven't slept.  Tuesday I went to a recorder group practice for church (oh yes, I'm in a recorder ensemble) but then left before Bible study.  I skipped choir practice, but went to the church potluck and annual meeting.  Picking and choosing, so I don't get overwhelmed.  

My sleep and my anxiety are still not exactly where I'd like them to be, and my house is messier then usual, BUT I did all the filing I'd been building up for the past four years.  Of course, that was just cause I couldn't find my BSW which I needed for my new job, but, it got done, which is a huge thing for me.  I had to bail on something with bestest bud yesterday which I felt really bad about, but I just couldn't do it, I just haven't been sleeping enough, and not at the right times.  But, one step at a time, one day at a time.  I can do this... 

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (I just hope it isn't a train).  

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