Sunday, April 10, 2011

Things I am not

Things I am not:
- A good housekeeper
- Entirely organized
- Good at sports
- All the creative

I am just not. I love my friend who is getting married, I love her dearly, and I am SO blessed to be in her wedding party. It is an honour to stand with her as she professes her love for her husband to be. However, I am NOT a party planner. The wedding shower was easy, because her aunts took care of it, although to be honest, I feel like I could have pulled that one off. The bachelorette party however, wow. It turns out none of the bridesmaids are good party planners. And my poor friend is upset, because she is worried that we're going to plan her some lame party. And in a way, so am I, but I also know that it's not the planning that's going to make the party, it's the people, and the time that's had. And I know if she goes into it thinking it's going to be lame, it probably is going to be lame. If she'll give it a chance though, I'm sure it'll turn out just fine.

Then there's the other part, the sex part. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the idea of sex, because I'm not, and I think that there will obviously have to be some dirty, kinky, content, reading the party ideas online makes me sick. They seem to be all about women throwing themselves all over men, and I guarantee I am not sitting on any strange dude's lap to win a prize or trying to get random guys to buy me drinks, it's just not happening. Oh, and the alcohol part. The idea of any game which involves people doing lots of shots scares me as well, for a few reasons, not the least of which being the money. But then there's the whole I hate being around drunk people thing, and the, I think it's stupid thing, and the whole, oh yeah, I THINK IT'S STUPID. I have spent too many years working in the drunk tank to have any desire to get drunk, particularly in a large group of people, and I have even less desire to be around a group of drunk people. I got paid to do that last night for 8 hours, I don't necessarily need to do that for free.

On the other hand, I very much realize that this is NOT about me. This is so not about me at all, it's about my friend, and what she wants, and what will make her happy, and more than anything else in this situation, I want to make her happy.

edited to add: I can't believe how demeaning to men this entire thing seems to be. It's just horrible and awful and sickening.


BethanyK said...

I am so glad that my friends who have/are getting married have not been interested in that kind of party. I honestly don't know if I could do it. The one batchelorette party I've done so far and the one coming are both going to be at my aunt's place.
SO yeah. Mostly I'm just sympathizing, I guess. I can't imagine how stressed out I would be about something like that. She's definitely determined to have the whole cliche drinking, dancing, falling into male strippers laps kind of party? You couldn't like.... dress up in feather boas and 80's clothes and go roller skating or bowling or something kind of goofy? Scavenger hunt? Stupid overnight games like truth or dare?
Sigh. Like you said, it's not about you and if that's what she wants... man that's complicated. I hope you figure something out. <3

Carolyn said...

Does the bride want there to be all kinds of sexual and alcohol content in this party? A party does not need these to be a good party. (And a lame party often has these.)

Still Dreaming said...

Yeah, the bride doesn't need it to be too insane or lame, I hope. I just had a minor freakout last night at the whole thing.

Carolyn said...

Then I vote for some kind of very silly theme party (famous brides from the bible; everyone wear their wedding dress (assuming there are lots of married ladies) or everyone come as their favourite ?????) You can then set the decorations/food to match the theme and bob's your uncle (everything is set).

Patricia said...

I feel like a proper bachelorette party ought to celebrate femininity outside of men, rather than relish in sexual relations with them. If I ever were in charge, I'd probably make it like a middle-school style slumber party, with makeovers and watching sappy romantic movies and playing truth or dare or something. I mean, after you're married, when is the next time you'll be able to do something like that with your girlfriends?

In unrelated news, I was wondering if you accepted guest posts... I would've emailed you but I can't find your email, eep.