trainee, trainee

This, is a testosterone model. Why is it in my blog you ask? Well, because I've decided I love it. Sounds strange? Let me explain. I worked evenings tonight, and I was the only girl on shift; there was a woman doing Main Stay, but that's in the other building so we never saw her. Six guys, and me. I thought it might be awkward, but it was wonderful! There was almost NO gossiping! Everything was so much more laid back and there was none of that catty infighting that happens on day shift.

Unfortunately, there was a lot of talk about an incident that happened last night in IPDA. When the staff was doing checks, they found a non responsive individual. They had to do CPR while waiting for the ambulance, and the man is in critical condition; it's almost for sure that he is going to die. The man is a regular, and so the staff were hit pretty hard. It's going to be hard working here I think. There seems to be a lot of these critical incidents.

Tonight was my first evening doing shelter. As usual, it's full of it's usual paper work, not as much as IPDA though, thank goodness. I have to speak to each person individually on the intercom (once I know all their names it will be easier). Then I put them in the computer to make sure they're not barred and there are no concerns. They may need searching, in which case if they're male, I have to get a male staff to do that. We're just looking for inhalants or non potable alcohol (hair spray, mouthwash etc...). Then they have to sign a form for Employment and Income Assistance (EIA) which is I guess where we get part of our funding from.

Because we're a small shelter, we almost have to encourage people not to use our services. We completely max out at 60 people, which is really not a lot of "beds" (mats) in the grand scheme of things. We look at the record of the last time a person was in our shelter and if they haven't been in a while we need to ask where they've been staying. If they have anywhere else to say we really need to encourage them to stay there. I drew the line tonight though when a man, who was intoxicated, said his girlfriend kicked him out. My trainer was encouraging him to go back there and I wouldn't agree with that. Without knowing the story, my gut instinct is to protect his girlfriend. If I had kicked my boyfriend out, I sure wouldn't want him coming back and saying "the shelter told me you had to let me in". I shared that with the testosterone team and they let him in.

I got to do first aid tonight, which for whatever reason, I love doing. The guy had this really gross elbow scrape/cut thing going on. It looked like it might be getting infected, so I covered it with polysporin and then bandaged the whole thing up. This guy must have been totally intoxicated though because while I was waiting for one of the other staff to cut some tape for me he set his arm down on top of my hand, I could feel his bone digging into my finger tips and thought for sure it must hurt. I asked him though, and he just looked a me, same with when I put the polysporin on. I got compliments on my bandaging from one of the staff, yay.

It's interesting, because another one of the staff asked me tonight if I'd ever thought about going into nursing. Interesting, because I have, a lot. But, at this point in my life, it just doesn't make sense to start school all over again. It doesn't. And if I keep doing a job like this I'll wind up doing a lot of first aid stuff anyway and hopefully that will satisfy that medical itch. We'll see. If I could do it all over again I'd go into psych nursing in a second. But, I really do like what I do, and I don't intend to quit anytime soon!

let me pee in peace!

Yesterday at work I discovered that our (client) bathroom doors do not have locks. To be honest, I was appalled. I mean, really. I find that in humane. But of course, like with most things, I've discovered there's a reason. People sniff/use other drugs in our bathrooms all the time. People have seizures in our building; often. Basically, we need to be able to access the bathrooms at all times. On the other hand though, especially as a woman, I just wouldn't feel safe with that. As a man too though. Yesterday a guy opened the door without knocking, closed it when he realized there was someone in their, and then opened it and started talking to the person. The guy came out fighting mad! Granted, the man doing the talking has some mental health issues, but it was still inappropriate. And, it wouldn't have happened if the bathroom locked. I think there should be a way we can get doors that lock from the inside but open with a key from the outside. Then staff could get in if there was a problem, but clients could have a little privacy, in the midst of lives with almost none.

psst... did you hear?

There are a few things in life I really don't like. Bedbugs, sand on my feet and peanut butter come immediately to mind. Today at work however, I was faced with some equally annoying things, toping the list, was gossip.

If there's one thing that really bothers me about my new job, it would be the gossip. I can't get over it. As soon as a person is not around, the other staff are talking about them. It never seems to end either. Walk down the stairs and the person at the bottom is talking about the person at the top. Get in the van, and the person in the van is talking about the person in the building. Work in detox, they're talking about the drop in staff, work in drop in, they're talking about the detox staff... and so it goes on and on and on. Bah! Part of me wonders what they're saying about me, but part of me just really, really, really doesn't want to know! And honestly, I really don't care, I just plan on doing my job and hopefully accomplishing something!

Also, I had to drive the van today. I don't know if I've mentioned it lately, but I *really* hate driving! Argh. I'm car shopping Wednesday maybe, but driving, so not my thing. I much, much, much prefer biking. I definitely prefer being in detox to working the front and having to drive.

And finally, I had a woman come in today looking to get into to detox. We were in the middle of shift change so I told her that she would have to sit and wait until the evening shift started. She took great offense to the idea of sitting in our drop in though and stormed out. Apparently she's too good to sit with "those people". I love the people I work with, and I'm very defensive of them. She thinks she's too good for them? Well, I have news for her!

This is my first day of what is going to be a LONG week. I'm working 3 jobs for the next 2 weeks, and it seems like I'm already tired :( Oh well. Once this week is over things should be better. And I'm looking forward to getting my first pay check on Thursday (or Friday)!

the other half

Okay, so while my church doesn't look like that, and in-fact doesn't have a building, it is pretty awesome. And this summer, I get to be the summer student intern! I'm very excited although it is a big time commitment on top of my other job. Basically I'm preaching while our minister is away, running an outreach event (I'm really thinking penny garage sale), and taking care of many other things - like children; the part I'm not so sure about.

In any case though, I'm really excited to start. I'm meeting with my minister on Wednesday to start planning for the summer and getting things under way, something which I'm super excited about doing. I'm also thinking about car shopping this week!!! I can't wait to have a car and be able to drive to and fro! Well, except for the fact that driving scares the life out of me and my anxiety levels are ridiculously high already. I'm really hoping they settle once my summer starts to settle into a pattern.

It's snowing, by the way. I'm incredibly annoyed. I know I live in a northern climate, but this is ridiculous, I don't live THAT far north! bah.

just because your're experienced doesn't mean i'm stupid

One thing I'm not so certain of about my new job are some of the other staff. In fact, I'm having a really hard time with a lot of them. Or well, maybe not with a lot of them, but with enough of them that I think it's going to be frustrating for me. It's odd, because normally I get along with people, even if I don't talk to them a lot. I suppose the dynamics will also be different when they are not training me though. We'll see.

In any case, yesterday my trainer had been working there longer then I have been alive. She was very set in her ways, and very black and white about the rules. It was painful and hard. I wanted to cry I was getting so frustrated with her. She was also a complete and total neat freak, something I found hard. I was trying to be helpful because we were short staffed. She gave me NO independence. She wouldn't even let me take a load of laundry to the basement with out her coming with me. I am so capable of doing laundry! Sigh.

Another thing that I find hard with the staff is that they are really testing me out. The last casual staff they hired was really bad news, and had a little breakdown/freak out thing and was just really strange. I understand their suspicion, I really do, it's just hard to know how to respond. They are also suspicious of my age and of my social work degree. I often forget how hated social workers are. My trainers on Thursday and Saturday were both suspicious of my motives for being there and working there. Even in my interview, the manager was suspicious of me.

The truth is, I like the job. While it's not especially challenging, I'm kind of excited about that. I like the idea of working at a job I know how to do. And, there is variety to it. Things are always changing despite the fact that it remains the same, and there are different shifts, different staff, different areas, all of which have their own personalities and quirks. So in a week, I could have 5 totally different experiences. I like that.

no one chooses to be homeless

Tonight was Street Ministry. It was a little interesting having seen a lot of people at work who I saw tonight and knowing that I'll see them again in the morning at work. I'm not used to that. Normally I just see them on Friday nights. We'll see how it works though. I really don't want to give up my volunteering because I'm working, even though I am working with a very similar population with lots of overlapping.

We had a group in tonight from a small farm town two hours away from the city. They were all over 18, but they were very Mennonite. It was interesting to watch them work, but especially interesting to hear them in debriefing. Some of them really bothered me; well, one man I guess. He was very accusing, that people had put themselves in these situations and just needed to find work and to get a job. He said he didn't want a response, and I think I'm glad, because while I wanted to challenge his thinking, I also wanted to stay calm. But really, I'm sorry, it's not quite as simple as people think it is. At the same time though, how would he know that?? I grew up doing this, this is my life, of course I know that, but we have had totally different life experiences. Who am I to judge his judgment.

What really really bothered me though, was something else he said. He had a conversation with a couple who smelled strongly of alcohol or solvent; he didn't specify which. At the end of the conversation the people said "God bless you". He couldn't believe that they were truly Christians and truly knew God, because of their substance use. He didn't believe that they knew what they were saying when they blessed him. And I don't agree... I don't agree at all. So many of the people I work with are Christians, just because they're homeless doesn't mean their faithless. Of course, that's not to say that all homeless people are Christians, I've just noticed that a lot of them are.

But, enough about that. I work at 7:30 and it's already 12:30 (or should I say 0030 as our 24 clock would dictate). I'm going to ride my bike in the morning which makes me quite excited. I'm so glad I have my bike out again!

Really, I can do this laundry

Tonight was my first evening shift, and my first time working in our "Chemical Detoxification Unit" (Detox). It was...interesting, to say the least. The work itself is easy and fairly self explanatory complete with it's multiple redundant sets of paper. The staff I worked with tonight though...not sure I really quite fit in with them...

Detox is a fairly basis service. We're none medical detox, which means we don't have any medical professionals on staff and anyone who needs medical supervision has to detox at the hospital, not with us. We do accept people with a wide variety of disorders and on a wide variety of meds though.

Clients make appointments for intakes through our front desk. We usually do four a day (based on the number of beds available and expected discharges). The clients much be medically cleared and have all their current medications with them, in the correct bottles and on their medical clearance forms. Clients usually enter within 24 hours of their inquiry, space and forms permitting. If there's something wonky with their meds, we can't let them in. Clients fill out and intake form which gets brought to their intake interview.

As a crisis worker I get to do intakes. We have a form to fill out (as I said, the job is very self explanatory), and then we take their vital signs, search their stuff and go over the rules. The person I was with tonight did what I would consider to be a bare bones intake. I mean, it was pretty basic and if I was the client I would not have felt heard or understood. But, each staff has their own style. The other staff I was with tonight did a really long intake; I wasn't in with her though, so I can't judge the clients feelings. We get the final decision, based on this interview, about whether the client gets to come in our not.

The detox area is made up of three dormitories. There are 15 mens beds (all in one room), 6 women's beds and 4 "assessment" beds. These beds can be used as extra women's beds (or extra mens) or for people with special needs of some sort. My orientation day they were using that room for a couple people with seizure disorders so they could keep an eye on them. The clients have to attend to groups a day, one is a group run by the transition team and one is either AA/CA/NA (I think there's a couple days when there's two 12 step meetings...I'm not sure). Other than that though, their time is theirs. There's a couple computers, a TV, and tons of board games, and a lot of people sleep, especially at the beginning.

Each crisis worker gets half the files and is responsible to check in with those clients. We don't need to do much, just make sure they're doing okay and see if there's any pressing concerns. One cw is in charge of meds and gets the keys to the med cabinet, they're held responsible if anythings missing at the end of shift. (The shift coordinators have to count all narcotics and mood altering drugs at the end/beginning of each shift). The other cw does laundry; fun, fun...

The best thing perhaps, is that they drive you home at the end of the evening shift because it doesn't end till 12 or should I say 2400 hours. That was REALLY nice at the end of the day!

First Day of Training

My orientation went well enough yesterday...kind of boring, lots of PHIA stuff I already knew. I started training today. Seriously, whose idea was it to start shift at 7:30. I realize that's common, but argh, I am just so not good with mornings. Tomorrow I'm on evenings and the back on days for Saturday. We'll see how things go I guess.

I spent all of today in the Intoxicated Persons Detention Area (IPDA) aka the city's "drunk tank". IPDA was...interesting. I'm not sure how I feel about it. It raises some ethical issues for me in a way, but not. I understand the reason for it and seeing the people that were brought in today I totally understand the way it is the way it is. It is just hard to see in someways.

Basically my role in IPDA is to process intakes and discharges and make sure no one dies. The intake process is far too complex and sure there are many ways it could be made more efficient, but alas, who has time for that? This is generally how it works, except when we get behind.

1. The police or downtown watch (BIZ) bring in an intoxicated person picked up for causing a disturbance or being a danger to self/others (ie blindly stumbling across the road). They bring this person to us.

2. While the officers strip the person of all possessions and everything but one layer of clothes, I try to establish their name, medical conditions, medications and current intoxicant. Sometimes this is aided by police or they're frequent customers. Once I have their name I can search them in the data base and get some of the medical stuff as well.

3. I choose a cell. Some have cameras and some don't. We save the cameras for people with seizures, other severe medical issues or who are especially upset or combative. The officers pat down the client and make sure they have nothing, and then escort them to the cell which automatically locks.

4. I make an itemized list of all their possessions and count the money etc... we make note of every last scrap of paper "personal papers". I also get the details of the incident, where they were picked up, the unit numbers of the officers and the incident number. Then the officers have to sign off. They get a receipt for the client they brought in.

5. I fill out the rest of this form which indicates all the medical details, birthday, condition on arrival etc... Then I enter it all into the computer as well.

6. I fill out a form for "punches" (not nearly as physical as it sounds).

7. Then I fill out the log which basically repeats information I've already put in two or three places. There is nothing new on it.

8. Then I add the client to my cell map so I know what time they were in and who is where so I can easily tell the officers where to put new people.

9. Somewhere in this process I store the clients stuff in a locker which corresponds to their cell number. Rubber gloves and plastic bags are of the essence. If they have more then 20$ I have to do another whole form and get the shift coordinator to sign it. The money goes in an envelope in the safe.

And that, is intake.

Now while this is all going on, I also have to be doing "punches". We have a time clock at the very back and we have to turn the key every 15 minutes. We also have to check and make sure every person is breathing. We look for chest movement or listen for breathing through the window...it's not as hard as I thought it would be. Then we have to fill in their form with whether they're awake or sleeping, if there's any movement and our employee number. Every two hours we have to wake them up...bang on the door, shout, whatever it takes.

And lastly, we have to keep discharging people when they sober up. The minimum stay is 4 hours and the max is 24. Most people are in for 8 or less. It can depend what they're on though, and today we had a guy in for 12 cause he kept refusing to go...he wanted to sleep! To discharge them we just talk to them, ask them a few questions, try and figure out if they're sober enough to go. Then we have to walk them out, offer them a phone call, get them to sign a form (two if its night time) and then give them their stuff back. Then we have to fill out a bunch more paperwork in five places. PLUS a cleaning sheet.

After a person leaves, we have to clean, although it's good to let it air out for a while... Then we have to mop, refill the toilet paper, scrub the mat and prop the door open to air. And then of course, fill out some more paperwork! But, don't get too caught up in cleaning, or you'll forget to do punches! I need to buy a watch w/ timer asap, and some closed toed crocs.

So that was my first day. I had a great trainer who was easy to talk to so things weren't awkward there. I got free lunch, gotta love donations. And I got PAID! Such a differences from paying to do practicum.

Tomorrow is job interview at the church, meeting with my best friend and then working 3:30-midnight...so we'll see how things go!

It starts tomorrow

Here is goes, this social worker is stepping out, jumping in and hopefully not falling to hard when I hit the real world. Tomorrow I start a job at a homeless shelter, drop in, detox and intoxicated persons detention area. While it's not a "real" social work job, it's a start, and it's where my passions are.

I'm nervous. I got in a fight with my best friend this weekend, caused mostly by me, and I feel sort of like my heart is breaking in two. I wouldn't call it the best way to graduate or enter the workforce. Words hurt, even when you realize the next day that you don't really mean them. I've been crying on and off since Friday night, so I'm really hoping I can keep it together for tomorrow.

I can do this, right?