less then healed but definitely better

I'm finally almost better! Actually, I've gotten over whatever this was very quickly, and today I'm not even taking decongestants. As long as it doesn't settle in my chest I'm free! Considering it was just three days ago I was lying across three chairs in the emergency room crying, I've made an incredible recovery (I will give complete credit to the 2 liter bottle of ginger ail I drank).

Work yesterday was the pits though. I had a couple really great conversations with clients, but it was marred by staffing issues and the fact I felt feverish. I will be SO glad when I don't have to work the evening shift any more. We had 20+ people in detox, which is a lot. It also means a lot more laundry and a lot more dishes. We also did two intakes. Fine. Problem is, my supervisor left me basically on my own for the second half of my shift (there's supposed to be always two staff back there when we're more then 10 clients. On a day where I was healthy I could have done it no problem, but because I was feeling crappy, I just wasn't in the mood.

Mr. nice guy tried to help, which was sweet, but he was training a new staff at the front, so really couldn't. Best quote ever though. I answered the phone in detox to record a new intake from the front and he says "what's wrong with you?". Because I know him, I knew what he meant and answer "I have a flu/cold thing which is screwing up my voice", but I found his bluntness and choice of words amusing.

I'm sure today will be equally "pleasing". I'm hoping for a good partner, cause I'm sure I will be working detox again. It should be nice, as I'll get some good client time in which I always appreciate, and since it seems like everyone got their "one load of laundry while in detox" laundry done yesterday and there were only a couple scheduled discharges there shouldn't be too too much laundry!

writers block

I had an awesome night last night. I had a couple clients just really open up. It was hard to hear in some cases; hearing dealers talk about the young people, mothers, pregnant women they've sold to. But it was good. Good for them especially.

Now I'm lying here in a sunbeam having writers block. I need a sermon for Sunday. I've already picked out my scripture; way ahead of time, so I need to preach about that. Weeds among wheat. I just can't think of anything all that exciting or meaningful or new to say. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll stick with plain and simple. I dunno... writers block.

freaky

I had a kind of freaky day at work today. I really wish we had proper debrief! It just seems sort of...expected... that we won't have issues with the stuff that happens there, and I just don't get that. However, with some of the newer staff, I'm feeling able to form a bond so that maybe some of that debrief can take place, just informally, amongst ourselves. Because, maybe it takes place informally amongst the others, and I just don't fit in yet.

Anyway, not long before shift change one of my detox clients had a really bad seizure. At first I didn't know what was going on, I thought she was just joking around. She started gasping for air and stiffening and falling over. One of the other clients caught her. Mr. nice guy and I ran over to her and the three of us lowered her to the ground where she continued to seize. She started vomit a little, so we quickly got her on her side. Not a long seizure, but then a long period of unconsciousness with no rousability and odd twitches/eye movements. As she started coming out of it, Mr. nice guy left to check on the status of the ambulance and I stayed with her.

The client started coming around, but was behaving oddly. After getting no verbal response, I took her hands and asked her to squeeze them. The client squeezed, but instead of just squeezing she kept trying to put them in her mouth, and she was STRONG. I called for Mr. nice guy and he helped me wrestle myself away from her. Anyway, first response took a looooong time to get there, and my client was freakishly altered. No sense of where she was, how she got there, and asking very strange questions. Her voice was different and so were her mannerisms. Firefighters arrived, and did all her vitals and stuff, and then we waited, and waited, and waited for the paramedics. A consious female, even a very altered one, just doesn't take priority.

My client was SO altered though. And just odd. Every time a guy walked near us, she FREAKED out. She grabbed me really hard one time and freaked me out too. And she was freaking out all the other clients, because they wanted reassurance she was okay, and she didn't know who they were. She told me that the one man "had beat everyone up" (nope) and another had been kicking her purse (nope). She still didn't know where she lived, or where she was or anything like that. Strong denial about having a seizure.

Finally paramedics came and she was able to walk out with them. She wanted me to go the hospital with her, and I was quite sad that I couldn't. It's hard when you're with someone through something like that, and even though they have no clue who you are, they realize that you're someone safe and then you have to leave them. She'll be okay though. The paramedics were nice, and she's a white well groomed female.

But yeah, after that, shift change was over and it was time to go home. I thanked mr. nice guy for saving me from being eaten, but that was it, he didn't seem to want to talk, and one of my favourite staff just said, yeah, people have a post seizure period of alterdness. But, it freaked me out! I'm okay now, but yeah, it would have been really nice for someone to acknowledge that it had been a bit traumatic for me! Maybe I need to speak up more. Or maybe everyone at work is just so used to it now they don't even thinking about it. I mean, I've seen a few seizures already and I've only been there 3 months.

wise friends and double shifts

One of those wise friends asked me if I was over doing. I laughed and said, "of course not, I'm doing less then I've done in ever". She pointed out however, that jobs last a lot longer then semesters and I'm usually falling apart by the end of the semester... something to think about, because I hadn't considered that when I figured out how much I'm doing.

In other news on the overdoing it side, I worked my first double shift on Friday. 16 hours of work, but for me, a 24 hour day. I worked at church in the morning, went to the shelter, worked, went to street ministry, and came back and worked another 11 hours. I wound up working with all three shifts, and experience which can only be termed "interesting". Each has such a unique personality and way of doing things.

For example, I got in trouble for reading the newspaper in IPDA; something I do all the time...on evenings and nights. I forgot that the person upstairs, who's from the day shift, is very legalistic. I put a bucket under a leak on day shift, and then evenings was upset I hadn't phoned the guy who fixes things. And I did something or other on evenings that nights was upset about. Oh well. It was still a good experience for me to have, and I think I could do doubles in the future, as long as I didn't street ministry and my other job. Not a great thing to do on a regular basis, but it's good money for overtime, and sometimes, things just have to be done or the place doesn't function.

evenings

Working evenings seems to suck the life out of me and my day. I'm not sure what it is exactly, I just know that things aren't quite right for me when I work evenings. I start at 3:30 and am off at midnight, it's an 8 hour shift just like any other, but somehow I seem to have no energy or time for anything else. I dunno. Maybe I'm just weird.

I've been sleeping a lot more since school ended too, I have more time to sleep and so I sleep more. I'm hoping that part of that was the chest infection and that now that it's gone I'll have more energy. I don't know though. Maybe I just need to get into some sort of rhythm, but that's kind of hard with the way my schedule works. I have a whole new sympathy for rotating shift workers.

Today I had a nap, which was awesome. I'm getting to sleep faster sometimes now, which is a goal of mine. I'm trying to learn how to take 20 minute power naps, but I'm really bad at it. To work on this though, I've been getting to bed when I don't have hours and hours to sleep. Then the trick is falling asleep at all. We'll see. I'll get there yet.

panic attacks

One of the things I'm really nervous about is that someone is going to have a seizure in detox when I'm there by myself. This is actually quite likely to happen, and I'm sure I'll learn to deal with it soon enough. I thought it happened today, but thankfully, I wasn't dealing with a seizure, just a panic attack.

I got called into the dorm by a client yelling for "staff". Being me, I of course left my radio in the office. I found the client lying on the ground with a couple people around him. I asked what happened, no one knew, the person just collapsed. Asked a couple questions though and ascertained it was a panic attack. I helped the person calm down and take deep breaths before getting them to come to the office with me to talk things out further.

Panic attacks are freaky, I know, I've had a couple although not for quite a long time. I'm not sure how long in fact, 2 years maybe? Maybe more like a year and a half. Either way though, I've never had them as bad as this poor person. They were quite shaken. Most people who come through detox sleep A LOT and they hadn't slept in two days. Plus, they had restarted all their meds after a binge. I can only begin to imagine what that must do to your body. Binging, quiting meds, and then detoxing and starting them again. Wow.

It's interesting how many things run through your head when a crisis is happening. All sorts of thoughts, ideas, issues, things you should be doing. And yet, at least for me, I manage to keep everything in check and still concentrate on the situation... I don't know. I like crisis, but there's too much documentation involved :P

sick? i'm not sick. whose sick?

Tonight was a busy night, I didn't have time to think really, and yet at times there were lulls. I had a good chat with a co worker, talked to some clients, and handed out meds...

When working in detox, one person is in charge of laundry, the other is in charge of meds. I was in charge of meds tonight. It's a really... annoying... job in some ways. Our shift coordinator and I talked about the fact that people are "detoxing" but they're on tons and tons of meds! And when I say meds, I mean meds for everything under the sun, plus lots and lots of psych meds and painkillers. Most of the people in there are on at least one benzodiazapine and at least one anti depressant. A lot are on anti psychotics too.

I'm definitely feeling more comfortable in my job, but tonight I made at least one med error. And I'm really not pleased about it. A guy is on an anti psychotic at supper and bedtime and I totally missed the supper one. Knowing what I know, the dose could probably have been consolidated, but you really can't do that. I'm not a doctor or a pharmacist. I had noted that on my sheet and yet I was busy with a guy having a panic attack and then stuff just kept happening. I feel horrible and stupid, and I had to fill out an incident report. Missing the one med won't have a huge affect on the man, it is something that accumulates in your system somewhat, so he should be fine, but still... I am going to have to be even more careful from now on. And I'm sure I will improve as well and get better at catching things like that!

trainee, trainee

This, is a testosterone model. Why is it in my blog you ask? Well, because I've decided I love it. Sounds strange? Let me explain. I worked evenings tonight, and I was the only girl on shift; there was a woman doing Main Stay, but that's in the other building so we never saw her. Six guys, and me. I thought it might be awkward, but it was wonderful! There was almost NO gossiping! Everything was so much more laid back and there was none of that catty infighting that happens on day shift.

Unfortunately, there was a lot of talk about an incident that happened last night in IPDA. When the staff was doing checks, they found a non responsive individual. They had to do CPR while waiting for the ambulance, and the man is in critical condition; it's almost for sure that he is going to die. The man is a regular, and so the staff were hit pretty hard. It's going to be hard working here I think. There seems to be a lot of these critical incidents.

Tonight was my first evening doing shelter. As usual, it's full of it's usual paper work, not as much as IPDA though, thank goodness. I have to speak to each person individually on the intercom (once I know all their names it will be easier). Then I put them in the computer to make sure they're not barred and there are no concerns. They may need searching, in which case if they're male, I have to get a male staff to do that. We're just looking for inhalants or non potable alcohol (hair spray, mouthwash etc...). Then they have to sign a form for Employment and Income Assistance (EIA) which is I guess where we get part of our funding from.

Because we're a small shelter, we almost have to encourage people not to use our services. We completely max out at 60 people, which is really not a lot of "beds" (mats) in the grand scheme of things. We look at the record of the last time a person was in our shelter and if they haven't been in a while we need to ask where they've been staying. If they have anywhere else to say we really need to encourage them to stay there. I drew the line tonight though when a man, who was intoxicated, said his girlfriend kicked him out. My trainer was encouraging him to go back there and I wouldn't agree with that. Without knowing the story, my gut instinct is to protect his girlfriend. If I had kicked my boyfriend out, I sure wouldn't want him coming back and saying "the shelter told me you had to let me in". I shared that with the testosterone team and they let him in.

I got to do first aid tonight, which for whatever reason, I love doing. The guy had this really gross elbow scrape/cut thing going on. It looked like it might be getting infected, so I covered it with polysporin and then bandaged the whole thing up. This guy must have been totally intoxicated though because while I was waiting for one of the other staff to cut some tape for me he set his arm down on top of my hand, I could feel his bone digging into my finger tips and thought for sure it must hurt. I asked him though, and he just looked a me, same with when I put the polysporin on. I got compliments on my bandaging from one of the staff, yay.

It's interesting, because another one of the staff asked me tonight if I'd ever thought about going into nursing. Interesting, because I have, a lot. But, at this point in my life, it just doesn't make sense to start school all over again. It doesn't. And if I keep doing a job like this I'll wind up doing a lot of first aid stuff anyway and hopefully that will satisfy that medical itch. We'll see. If I could do it all over again I'd go into psych nursing in a second. But, I really do like what I do, and I don't intend to quit anytime soon!

Really, I can do this laundry

Tonight was my first evening shift, and my first time working in our "Chemical Detoxification Unit" (Detox). It was...interesting, to say the least. The work itself is easy and fairly self explanatory complete with it's multiple redundant sets of paper. The staff I worked with tonight though...not sure I really quite fit in with them...

Detox is a fairly basis service. We're none medical detox, which means we don't have any medical professionals on staff and anyone who needs medical supervision has to detox at the hospital, not with us. We do accept people with a wide variety of disorders and on a wide variety of meds though.

Clients make appointments for intakes through our front desk. We usually do four a day (based on the number of beds available and expected discharges). The clients much be medically cleared and have all their current medications with them, in the correct bottles and on their medical clearance forms. Clients usually enter within 24 hours of their inquiry, space and forms permitting. If there's something wonky with their meds, we can't let them in. Clients fill out and intake form which gets brought to their intake interview.

As a crisis worker I get to do intakes. We have a form to fill out (as I said, the job is very self explanatory), and then we take their vital signs, search their stuff and go over the rules. The person I was with tonight did what I would consider to be a bare bones intake. I mean, it was pretty basic and if I was the client I would not have felt heard or understood. But, each staff has their own style. The other staff I was with tonight did a really long intake; I wasn't in with her though, so I can't judge the clients feelings. We get the final decision, based on this interview, about whether the client gets to come in our not.

The detox area is made up of three dormitories. There are 15 mens beds (all in one room), 6 women's beds and 4 "assessment" beds. These beds can be used as extra women's beds (or extra mens) or for people with special needs of some sort. My orientation day they were using that room for a couple people with seizure disorders so they could keep an eye on them. The clients have to attend to groups a day, one is a group run by the transition team and one is either AA/CA/NA (I think there's a couple days when there's two 12 step meetings...I'm not sure). Other than that though, their time is theirs. There's a couple computers, a TV, and tons of board games, and a lot of people sleep, especially at the beginning.

Each crisis worker gets half the files and is responsible to check in with those clients. We don't need to do much, just make sure they're doing okay and see if there's any pressing concerns. One cw is in charge of meds and gets the keys to the med cabinet, they're held responsible if anythings missing at the end of shift. (The shift coordinators have to count all narcotics and mood altering drugs at the end/beginning of each shift). The other cw does laundry; fun, fun...

The best thing perhaps, is that they drive you home at the end of the evening shift because it doesn't end till 12 or should I say 2400 hours. That was REALLY nice at the end of the day!